New Year, New…sletter
Happy New Year, you handsome son of a gun. We made it through the holiday season, maybe or maybe not worse for wear. Time to pick ourselves up and dust us off, give our heads a shake and get back at ‘er. Maybe you don’t set new year’s resolutions (because apparently you’ve got it all figured out? Must be nice) or maybe you do because you’ve got some work to be done.
New year, new me! Finally. I’ve been itching to trade in that old clunker. New Me is gonna be awesome. Here are my resolutions:
I’m going to be 20 lbs lighter.
I’m going to be more patient.
I’m going to be 6’3”.
I’ll be a snappier dresser.
I’m going to read more books, and fewer “articles”.
My grey hair? Gone by May. But how? you may ask. Sheer willpower. New Me is a Manifestation King. Scratch that, I’ll embrace my greys and not fight back against Time.
I’m so sick of having not written a hit song, so that’s on the list for sure.
Second language, maybe? Well if I’m going for a second, might as well chuck in a third.
Some of these resolutions take time, the languages will take a few weeks, and shooting up 5 inches overnight would hurt. But the rest? Cold turkey. Best way to quit a habit. Cigs? Weaning doesn’t work, you gotta just go zero hard. That’s why fasting is all the rage. Eat too much? Just don’t eat ever again. I can’t wean myself off social media, The Algorithm won’t let me. Maybe I’ll trade in my phone for a dumb phone and throw my old phone into the river. Figuratively, of course, because New Me cares about the environment. Old Me did too, I’m keeping some of the good Old parts.
I’ve decided to take it upon myself to set some Rezzies for you. Feel free to copy and paste these and print them out to put on your bathroom mirror. Say them out loud so the universe hears you and holds you accountable:
I resolve to catch up with the times and use my phone’s calendar to put my haircut appointment in there. Since I am the one who chose the time that works for me, while graciously allowing Seth to bump me 15 minutes forward or back to fit, I will take the 10 seconds to swipe out of my browser and go to Calendar and put it in with a reminder the morning of because apparently Seth’s auto reminder a day before isn’t enough. If I forget, I’ll just pay Seth double next time, because time is money, as Scrooge McDuck says. I will also write it on the kitchen calendar so my significant other can triple remind me.
I will manually turn my vehicle lights on because Auto doesn’t turn on the taillights and that’s common courtesy and safety and I don’t want to get whiplash.
I’ll take an afternoon walk around downtown and discover the great local shops that are there. I’ll eat at a new place and find a new favourite. Maybe I’ll pop into the African market just to see what might possibly be in there, even if I don’t buy anything. Because more foot traffic down there will only help. And I’ll use cash or debit.
If my hair is feeling flat and lifeless, I’ll only use conditioner on the ends, because conditioner makes hair soft, so using it on the roots makes it fall over easier. And maybe use a blowdryer.
I vow to stop keeping up with the Joneses. Comparison is the thief of joy, so they say.
I may even tell my barber to stop telling me how to live my life. But I know that he just loves me and wants me to be happy. So instead of confrontation, I’ll just unsubscribe.
But here’s a serious one. Have you ever heard of the term Non Zero Day? It’s the idea that as long as you do the smallest something, you’re making progress. If your goal, maybe not even a goal, but your eventual aim is to lose weight, even if you don’t get 10k steps or go to the gym, saying no to seconds at dinner is progress. Having a single instead of a double is progress. A 5 minute meditation or 1 push-up makes it a Non Zero Day. And even a Zero Day every so often is okay, you need rest more than you think. Excessive Hustling is not healthy. Just don’t have any Negative One Or More Days.
I seem to have covered Seth’s Soapbox and Seth’s Styling Tips in my preaching. New Me is so efficient!
This month’s edition of The World’s Best Newsletter is brought to you by the good folks at Alberta Asian Motorworks. Mike and the gang are just such beauties that they’re offering 10% off oil changes for clients of Seth’s Barbershop. Isn’t that just so nice of them? I think so. Call them at 587-273-2269 or go to https://aamwrd.ca/.
That's all I have for this month, I kept it shortish because you have work to do.
Here’s the World’s Best Spotify Playlist which you hear at the shop: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1B3EAqHENF2qcDVIqcArqm?si=J0gypJSKSluvzufS58pjqg
Here’s good news: https://fixthenews.com/
Here’s my novel: https://tinyurl.com/3ae5kw5a
Love you, you’re handsome and pretty, and you’ll get through this.
Still Your Second Favourite Barber,
New Seth