July, July!

Hey. You clicking this email is a sign from the universe that you should take a minute and take a breather and hear what I have to say. Or, read what I have to type, I guess. Semantics.

Before we begin, the usual disclaimer: You have every right to unsubscribe from this email. I may not have even asked you if it was okay, which is technically illegal, but in the way that VHS movies would threaten a billion dollar fine and Life in jail if you copied it. More frowned upon and discouraged. How do we know it's a law if we don't test it once in a while? And it's new enough to plead ignorance, like the new parking app that's a year old.

So I sent it anyway. I just assumed since you seemed cool. Maybe I was wrong. No hard feelings. I got an unsubscribe last month. I was taken aback; what's not to like about a good rant? Have you seen how popular Facebook is? But he'd only been in once in the past year, and some people don't collect spam like me, so I guess I get it. He's moved on, cutting ties. Yes, I see who unsubscribes. No, I won't make it awkward if he ever comes back, or if you unsubscribe. We'll go on, business as usual, but I'll know. I'll know. I won't be mad. But I'll know.

As I may have told you, I'm on staycation. Relaxing in my villa (house), eating tapas (Ritz crackers) and getting lost in a good book (doomscrolling). We may go enjoy the beach (RD River), or stroll the countryside (Clearview Ponds), then take in some local culture (Westerner Days fireworks as seen from the Sport Chek parking lot) before finishing it all off with a nightcap (a Bubly and No Name Cheddar Bacon chips).

I know what you're thinking. "Seth. Who cares. Cut to the chase. You're interrupting my real vacation or my day at work covering those on vacation to brag about your holiday, off gallivanting in the South of Clearview. We can't all be so lucky." And I get it, dear reluctant reader. Such is the life of a self-proclaimed influencer. I make no apologies. I am insufferable. I am the wind.

Last month's email was a rant, this month's is a preach. 

The last quarter has been very busy at the barbershop and I'm hashtag blessed to have you all come back for cuts and chats. Maybe it's an extended honeymoon period but I still enjoy even the long days. 

However, this is the first week off I've had in a year (not counting Yuletide break because it does not count). So although I was happy and had good days, my body and brain were telling me it was time to chill out for a bit. You asked me what I was going to do, and I said I was going to organize the garage and get stuff done, but if I get nothing done other than this newsletter, I'm 100% cool with it.

Work smarter, not harder, they say. Physical workouts need rest days. Athletes need an off-season. You work too hard, and you deserve to take some days off. That includes your phone that's always blowing up, emails to respond to (not like this slice of heaven that is a sustenance. No need to respond, just soak it in), or people who "just can't wait". I know your job is important, but if you can't take at least a long weekend without your work phone, you need to learn how to work smarter. That isn't the preaching part, that's just the dad in me. I care for you, pal. Nobody on their deathbed wishes they worked harder.

I'm privileged in that I can take time off and if one of my customers, clients, clientstomers, isn't cool with it, then I guess I've lost them to another barber. That's okay. There are more heads in the city. My mental health and time with my kids are paramount. 

This is where I tell a humourous story, and I had one brewing but I'm already 5 days late sending this email out. I had it half-written when I realized it wasn't even funny, and the ending would've sucked, so I deleted it all. And here we are. I have a sunburn, no a/c in my house (a thermometer in my bedroom told me it was 29 reffing degrees in my bedroom last night, despite being in the crossfire of 2 fans. I'm going to the grocery store to open the ice cream freezer and pretend to price compare but not buy anything. 

Anyway, thanks for enduring this.

See you soon,

Your Second Favourite Barber,

Seth

Seth's Hair Related Tips

Does your scalp get itchy and irritated? You may need to dry it more. If you let water sit on your table or floor, it's kinda ruined, right? Well don't let water sit on your skin either. Blow dry if possible, and better yet, use a diffuser, the attachment I use with the nice little massaging rubber fingers. It won't puff up your hair. Or dry better with a separate towel after the shower. Another tip is changing your pillow. My scalp was itchy and my crappy pillow was hurting my neck anyway so I switched it up, and my neck got better as well as my scalp. Go to Sleep Country and get them to set you up. I just learned you should change pillows every 2 years, and I'm a dozen overdue.

Happy...Summer?

Summer is here this week, so says my calendar. It's green out, flowers are blooming, and it's 14 degrees.

The last few months have been very busy in the barbershop, and I'm incredibly grateful to all of you, and I appreciate your telling friends and neighbours to come down for a cut. You're the best. The collective best. 

People are getting their summer cuts, the passing of winter brought everyone out of hibernation and into the barbershop to freshen up. I'd say it's the weather, but that's kinda half of it? It's just around the corner. A long, uphill corner.

We've waited patiently. Staring out the window like we're waiting for an Amazon package because we got an email saying it's "on the way!", getting excited at every white Ford Transit that drives by. Or waiting for the cable guy to come Monday between 9-5 but it's now 8:00 Wednesday. But you can't get mad when they come or they may give you slower internet because they have that power and they don't take no crap.

That's what it's like waiting for summer to arrive. It came earlier last year, what gives? Is it El Niño/Niña? Is it George Soros? Is it simply the end times? 

Summer in Central Alberta is like an Every-Other-Weekend Dad. He's not here often, but when he is, oh, we love him so much. Kinda wish we had a dad like those lucky kids a few blocks south of us though, he's always early and sticks around for a long time. That would be sweet. Welp, gotta make the most of what we have, because Winter is like an eager stepdad who is always there because he lives us but we wish he would just go away. He claims to be fun, but his idea of fun suuuuuucks. Yeah, we can still go fishing, but it's just not the same, Bill.

We sit on the step with our fishing pole and sleeping bag waiting for Every-Other-Weekend Dad to come by and take us camping. But he won pool league last night so, naturally, he went out and celebrated and by the time he rolls up in his Trans Am with the T-roof open, hours late, he won't take off his sunglasses. Some call it Heroin Chic, could be Dive Bar Cool. He's just so cool. Ratty sleeveless tee under his scuffed leather jacket, he's even got a goatee. And an earring. He winces as he slams the door and flicks his cigarette butt on the lawn and there's a woman getting out of shotgun who we've never seen before. She smells like hairspray and Malibu Rum, and dad introduces her not by name but as our new stepmom and sorry champ, camping won't work today but next time for sure. 'Sposedta rain anyway. He says he's got "meetings" all day but also hasn't had a job in quite some time. He rustles our hair and tells New Stepmom they'd better make tracks before our mom comes out. Last cheque bounced but it was the bank's fault.  We pick up our stuff, shoulders slumped, and go back up to our room and hear the Trans Am peel out, gears grinding, the RPMs reaching octaves to match the Eddie Van Halen solo coming from the speakers, New Stepmom laughing. Mom and Bill are whispering in the hallway, maybe we'll go for ice cream, at least.

IMPORTANT! 

I will be away from July 14-22nd, so plan accordingly! If that's your usual haircut week, let me know and we can do before or after.

So, not much in the way of "news" in this newsletter, I'm just trying to get my money's worth. End of June is always crazy, more graduations, people getting cleaned up before summer vacation. Better get in now, or wait until July when there's so much space. You know what? Do both!

Keep fit, have fun, stay warm.

Your Second Favourite Barber,

Seth

Book, Rebook, Ad Infinitum.

Hiya gang, it's your monthly hello from Your Second Favourite Barber. The one who doesn't know how to upload pictures to a laptop computer so he has to use a suggested stock photo but it's of a sweet bike he would ride the crap out of that also fit the colour scheme so he's super chuffed about it. 

Obligatory notice: Feel free to unsubscribe. You may have been placed on this mailing list because I thought you might enjoy it. If not, whatever, man. Moving on.

Do you believe in fate? Well, you opened up your email and here I am, so it's fate whether you believe in it or not. Fate is telling you to book your next cut, and to do it right now. It takes less than 2 minutes. Did you just get one last week? Well, book your next one anyway and you can reschedule when the early alert notifies you. Or when the early notification alerts you. You know how it works by now; you get the heads up, you change your time if you need, or you can be a man of your word and keep your commitment to your barber, the one with feelings and abandonment issues. I kid.

Let's talk about something super fun! May is Mental Health Month! Ugh, I know. Enough, amirite? But guess what? I don't care. I've had some heavy talks with great people in my chair who are going through tough things lately. Fights with the wife, a dad's funeral, or the one that got away. These are things that we all deal with eventually, and while they're not mental health issues per se, if we bury them down and don't talk about them, they don't go away, they metastasize and drive us crazy. All this to say:

The barber chair is a place to relax and take a break from your busy life. If you've got something to vent about, I'm honoured and privileged to be the ear it falls upon. I'm not a therapist who can offer advice, but all anyone needs is an ear. Something so little as talking to your barber when he asks how you are is taking care of your mental health. Staying silent for the whole cut is taking care of your mental health (closed eyes is a sign to me that the client doesn't want to talk and it happens plenty, and I don't take offence, quite the opposite). Simply getting a haircut and feeling good is taking care of your mental health.

Switching gears: It's high school graduation time! For some schools, it's next week! Whose bright idea was it to hold graduation then go back for another month of school? Some jerk, I can tell you that much. Either way, many of your boys (or you, but pretend this is to your parent for a minute for the sake of the story) will be graduating high school, so why not treat them to a gift card for a cut and shave? 

Treat them to a hot towel shave to pamper them one last time before they step up to knock on the door of the real world. They straighten their collar, clear their throat and lick their palm and flatten their hair. It may take a few knocks, as it's super busy in there. Finally the door bursts open and the guy answering it looks disheveled and obviously stressed, tired and hyper at the same time, he yells "WHAT?!? Oh, another one? Gah, they keep coming." There's smoke, laughter, screaming, bright red lights, flashing strobes, the sound of chainsaws for some reason, and John Woo doves. "Okay," he sizes them up as he puffs his cig. "Looking good, champ. Did you sign your forms? Doesn't matter. Come on. You won't need that lunchbox."

They walk the hallway, cubicles and offices to the left and right, no ceiling, only Mordor in the distance. A buzzing, a siren. Flaming arrows whizzing by their heads, the doorman says, "I'm Trevor, your guide. Don't ask questions, I'm only the guide." Trevor walks with purpose, like he's walked this hallway a trillion times before. Has he? The Graduate is stumbling to keep up, tripping over loose children and radio controlled cars, underfoot the crunching of broken glass/dreams. They see doors with placards. Retail, Labour, Middle Management, Success, Homeless, Fame. Some man-sized, some garage door-sized, a door barely big enough for a mouse labeled, "Prosperous Artist".

"I want that door back there!" yells The Graduate.

"Don't we all," says Trevor, rolling his eyes. "Which one? They're all so close together, it's easy to aim for one and get the other."

"Success." 

Trevor stops. He chuckles. He looks around, the arrows stop. The limitless world erupts in laughter, so loud The Graduate presses their hands to their ears. "Make it stop!!!" The laughter stops and the screaming continues.

"Okay. This is where you go on without me. Be careful, most doors are mislabeled. Take this," Trevor hands The Graduate a slab of dripping red meat the size of a football with the word SUCCESS branded on it. "Welcome to The Real World. Good Luck." Trevor lights a cigarette with the butt of the last and walks back through the fog as he's passed by five wolves, drooling and snarling, staring at The Graduate, who tries to drop the Success Meat. It won't fall. It's fused to their hands. Panicked, The Graduate looks into the abyss and starts to run, footsteps and rabid barking close behind.

In the distance they hear, "Tell 'em Trevor sent ya to get 10% off your next haircut at Seth's!"

Also, were you lucky enough to see those Northern Lights the other night?! I got some great pics, let's talk about it next time.

See you soon,

Seth

Book your next appointment

This is your reminder to book a haircut. My automated system gives you a 3 day heads up, so if you need to reschedule, you can do it then. Just book a cut now, and figure it out later. Do it. Go. I double dog dare you.

BOOK APPOINTMENT

Now that that's done and out of the way: How are you? Good, me too, thanks. Welcome to the World's Best Monthly Barbershop Newsletter. TM. 

Once again, spam laws require me to get consent before sending these marketing emails, so thanks for agreeing to them. Unsubscribe if you'd like, no worries. But you may think, "Hey, he didn't ask me, why am I getting these?" And in some cases, I didn't. I just figured, "Nah, this person's cool, they totally want my ramblings filling up their inbox. They probably use their spam email for booking anyway." You're not gonna narc on me, are ya? Are you cool?

Now. Let me tell you about Kent combs. They're nice. My wife got me a model 2T like 10 years ago, the lettering is worn off, and I've dropped it so many times on the tile floor, but it's held up. Teeth still as straight as an orthodontist's child's. These aren't some plastic pumped into a mold kinda comb, they're hand made! With a saw! I don't know how that works, it's what it says on the comb. I mean, it can't be a hand saw or anything, can it? It's probably a sophisticated zinger pulled down by some chap in England wearing a three piece suit with a waxed moustache and flawless hair. It's a simple, shiny chrome lever pulled with one hand so the other can sip tea. The blades are hand-sharpened weekly by the local bladesmith. 

The box says they're by appointment from the Queen (must be old boxes) so you KNOW they're made with elegance. I bet the Queen's combmakers have butlers and drive Bentleys. Which is crazy, because the combs are only $18! (the foldable 20T is $20, but the extra $2 is a small price to pay for the extra cool). If they're good enough for HRH, they're good enough for peasants such as us.

I like to imagine the lever puller is a man named Giles. He's a 7th generation Sawyer, an Eton man from East Chestlewick-on-Thames. He works hard from 9:00-3:30, 4 days a week. His wife, Agatha, runs a bakery and the whole family smells of cinnamon rolls. The children, Rose and Wilfred, will one day take over as 8th generation sawyer and 2nd generation baker. Which is which? It's 2024, either can happen! Or will the two break tradition and be 1st generation TikTokkers?!

I guess it all depends on how well Kent Combs sell. 

Swanyway, Kent Combs are now on the menu. Try one out next time you're in. They've got heft. Buy nice or buy twice. Or thrice, even.

Thanks for your time. You're handsome, you have great taste in barbers, and if you happen to say "Giles says Hello" next time you're in, you get ten percent off your next cut. It's a "Van Halen Brown M&Ms contract" kinda discount.

Love, your second favourite barber,

Seth

Seth's Handy Hair Tip #2

Just as important as washing your hair is drying your hair. Most of us give the towel a quick rub on the head and get going because we think we're so busy, but if you have thicker/denser hair, that water can sit on your scalp and cause flaking or irritation. Would you let water sit on your hardwood floor? Maybe if you're a renter, but you own your head, so no, you wouldn't. Is it dandruff, or are you just not drying well enough? Try drying your hair with a separate towel after you dry off, down to the root, and extra points if you use a hair dryer. Use it on low power and it won't poof out your hair. Zero points if you laughed at "poof". Magicians don't like to be laughed at.

Everyone loves emails!

Hi, it's me, your second favourite barber. Welcome to my newsletter.

First of all, you can totally unsubscribe from this list, I won't blame you one bit. I won't send more than, say, one a month. Heck, it's taken me 13 months to send this one. But the website charges me like $20/mo to send marketing emails, so by gum, I'm gonna get my money's worth. Here comes your $20 email.

Secondly, I want to thank you for coming into my shop this past year and letting me cut your hair. Getting a business going is tough when you have to rely on people coming in your door, and it makes me genuinely happy when you do.

Brass tacks: more than a couple of you have mentioned that you just plain forget to book your appointments until the last minute, and that I should send reminders. I'm not just saying that, I actually did hear that from actual people, to my actual face. And my booking app doesn't do individual reminders, yet, so this is the next best thing.

Next time you're in, I'll be asking you if you'd like to schedule your next cut. Everyone says, "I don't know my schedule yet", so the cut gets left until panic time. I say, why not make your haircut the first thing on your schedule for next month? What's more important than self care? Why do I always have to be on the back burner?!? Besides, the appointment app notifies you a few days in advance, so if something more important (I mean, come on) is on that day, then it's an easy click to reschedule. Bingo banjo.

I'm going to throw in some tips on hair care and stuff like that, just so it doesn't feel like I'm just nagging you to make an appointment. Which I kind of am. But I'm leaning into some new products I'm excited to tell you all about, so just you wait.

Thanks for reading this far, and book your spring cut! 

And maybe a bottle of Seth's Beard Oil for your bearded friends? Seth's Negroni Aftershave for your beardless friends?

I'm working on a few other exciting ideas to share with you, I'll let you know when they're ready, or I'll run them by you when your in the chair.

Thanks,

Seth

BOOK HERE

Seth's Hair Tip #1

I started shaving 30 years ago, but didn't know how to do it right until I went to barber school. I used to think I'd get a closer shave by going against the grain. It was closer for a day, but I was pushing the hairs back down, leading to ingrown hairs and irritation. Always shave with and side-to the grain of your facial hair. Look closely in the mirror and notice which way(s) your hair grows and follow it. The growth patterns can look like Starry Night under there. 

Best to shave after a shower so the hair is nice and soft, and use thick but minimal lather so you can see the hairs just in case. And get a better razor! I've found that 1 blade is better than 4. Safety razors are less expensive and have a better shave. Come in and let's talk about it.