Book, Rebook, Ad Infinitum.
It all begins with an idea.
Hiya gang, it's your monthly hello from Your Second Favourite Barber. The one who doesn't know how to upload pictures to a laptop computer so he has to use a suggested stock photo but it's of a sweet bike he would ride the crap out of that also fit the colour scheme so he's super chuffed about it.
Obligatory notice: Feel free to unsubscribe. You may have been placed on this mailing list because I thought you might enjoy it. If not, whatever, man. Moving on.
Do you believe in fate? Well, you opened up your email and here I am, so it's fate whether you believe in it or not. Fate is telling you to book your next cut, and to do it right now. It takes less than 2 minutes. Did you just get one last week? Well, book your next one anyway and you can reschedule when the early alert notifies you. Or when the early notification alerts you. You know how it works by now; you get the heads up, you change your time if you need, or you can be a man of your word and keep your commitment to your barber, the one with feelings and abandonment issues. I kid.
Let's talk about something super fun! May is Mental Health Month! Ugh, I know. Enough, amirite? But guess what? I don't care. I've had some heavy talks with great people in my chair who are going through tough things lately. Fights with the wife, a dad's funeral, or the one that got away. These are things that we all deal with eventually, and while they're not mental health issues per se, if we bury them down and don't talk about them, they don't go away, they metastasize and drive us crazy. All this to say:
The barber chair is a place to relax and take a break from your busy life. If you've got something to vent about, I'm honoured and privileged to be the ear it falls upon. I'm not a therapist who can offer advice, but all anyone needs is an ear. Something so little as talking to your barber when he asks how you are is taking care of your mental health. Staying silent for the whole cut is taking care of your mental health (closed eyes is a sign to me that the client doesn't want to talk and it happens plenty, and I don't take offence, quite the opposite). Simply getting a haircut and feeling good is taking care of your mental health.
Switching gears: It's high school graduation time! For some schools, it's next week! Whose bright idea was it to hold graduation then go back for another month of school? Some jerk, I can tell you that much. Either way, many of your boys (or you, but pretend this is to your parent for a minute for the sake of the story) will be graduating high school, so why not treat them to a gift card for a cut and shave?
Treat them to a hot towel shave to pamper them one last time before they step up to knock on the door of the real world. They straighten their collar, clear their throat and lick their palm and flatten their hair. It may take a few knocks, as it's super busy in there. Finally the door bursts open and the guy answering it looks disheveled and obviously stressed, tired and hyper at the same time, he yells "WHAT?!? Oh, another one? Gah, they keep coming." There's smoke, laughter, screaming, bright red lights, flashing strobes, the sound of chainsaws for some reason, and John Woo doves. "Okay," he sizes them up as he puffs his cig. "Looking good, champ. Did you sign your forms? Doesn't matter. Come on. You won't need that lunchbox."
They walk the hallway, cubicles and offices to the left and right, no ceiling, only Mordor in the distance. A buzzing, a siren. Flaming arrows whizzing by their heads, the doorman says, "I'm Trevor, your guide. Don't ask questions, I'm only the guide." Trevor walks with purpose, like he's walked this hallway a trillion times before. Has he? The Graduate is stumbling to keep up, tripping over loose children and radio controlled cars, underfoot the crunching of broken glass/dreams. They see doors with placards. Retail, Labour, Middle Management, Success, Homeless, Fame. Some man-sized, some garage door-sized, a door barely big enough for a mouse labeled, "Prosperous Artist".
"I want that door back there!" yells The Graduate.
"Don't we all," says Trevor, rolling his eyes. "Which one? They're all so close together, it's easy to aim for one and get the other."
"Success."
Trevor stops. He chuckles. He looks around, the arrows stop. The limitless world erupts in laughter, so loud The Graduate presses their hands to their ears. "Make it stop!!!" The laughter stops and the screaming continues.
"Okay. This is where you go on without me. Be careful, most doors are mislabeled. Take this," Trevor hands The Graduate a slab of dripping red meat the size of a football with the word SUCCESS branded on it. "Welcome to The Real World. Good Luck." Trevor lights a cigarette with the butt of the last and walks back through the fog as he's passed by five wolves, drooling and snarling, staring at The Graduate, who tries to drop the Success Meat. It won't fall. It's fused to their hands. Panicked, The Graduate looks into the abyss and starts to run, footsteps and rabid barking close behind.
In the distance they hear, "Tell 'em Trevor sent ya to get 10% off your next haircut at Seth's!"
Also, were you lucky enough to see those Northern Lights the other night?! I got some great pics, let's talk about it next time.
See you soon,
Seth
Book your next appointment
It all begins with an idea.
This is your reminder to book a haircut. My automated system gives you a 3 day heads up, so if you need to reschedule, you can do it then. Just book a cut now, and figure it out later. Do it. Go. I double dog dare you.
Now that that's done and out of the way: How are you? Good, me too, thanks. Welcome to the World's Best Monthly Barbershop Newsletter. TM.
Once again, spam laws require me to get consent before sending these marketing emails, so thanks for agreeing to them. Unsubscribe if you'd like, no worries. But you may think, "Hey, he didn't ask me, why am I getting these?" And in some cases, I didn't. I just figured, "Nah, this person's cool, they totally want my ramblings filling up their inbox. They probably use their spam email for booking anyway." You're not gonna narc on me, are ya? Are you cool?
Now. Let me tell you about Kent combs. They're nice. My wife got me a model 2T like 10 years ago, the lettering is worn off, and I've dropped it so many times on the tile floor, but it's held up. Teeth still as straight as an orthodontist's child's. These aren't some plastic pumped into a mold kinda comb, they're hand made! With a saw! I don't know how that works, it's what it says on the comb. I mean, it can't be a hand saw or anything, can it? It's probably a sophisticated zinger pulled down by some chap in England wearing a three piece suit with a waxed moustache and flawless hair. It's a simple, shiny chrome lever pulled with one hand so the other can sip tea. The blades are hand-sharpened weekly by the local bladesmith.
The box says they're by appointment from the Queen (must be old boxes) so you KNOW they're made with elegance. I bet the Queen's combmakers have butlers and drive Bentleys. Which is crazy, because the combs are only $18! (the foldable 20T is $20, but the extra $2 is a small price to pay for the extra cool). If they're good enough for HRH, they're good enough for peasants such as us.
I like to imagine the lever puller is a man named Giles. He's a 7th generation Sawyer, an Eton man from East Chestlewick-on-Thames. He works hard from 9:00-3:30, 4 days a week. His wife, Agatha, runs a bakery and the whole family smells of cinnamon rolls. The children, Rose and Wilfred, will one day take over as 8th generation sawyer and 2nd generation baker. Which is which? It's 2024, either can happen! Or will the two break tradition and be 1st generation TikTokkers?!
I guess it all depends on how well Kent Combs sell.
Swanyway, Kent Combs are now on the menu. Try one out next time you're in. They've got heft. Buy nice or buy twice. Or thrice, even.
Thanks for your time. You're handsome, you have great taste in barbers, and if you happen to say "Giles says Hello" next time you're in, you get ten percent off your next cut. It's a "Van Halen Brown M&Ms contract" kinda discount.
Love, your second favourite barber,
Seth
Seth's Handy Hair Tip #2
Just as important as washing your hair is drying your hair. Most of us give the towel a quick rub on the head and get going because we think we're so busy, but if you have thicker/denser hair, that water can sit on your scalp and cause flaking or irritation. Would you let water sit on your hardwood floor? Maybe if you're a renter, but you own your head, so no, you wouldn't. Is it dandruff, or are you just not drying well enough? Try drying your hair with a separate towel after you dry off, down to the root, and extra points if you use a hair dryer. Use it on low power and it won't poof out your hair. Zero points if you laughed at "poof". Magicians don't like to be laughed at.
Everyone loves emails!
It all begins with an idea.
Hi, it's me, your second favourite barber. Welcome to my newsletter.
First of all, you can totally unsubscribe from this list, I won't blame you one bit. I won't send more than, say, one a month. Heck, it's taken me 13 months to send this one. But the website charges me like $20/mo to send marketing emails, so by gum, I'm gonna get my money's worth. Here comes your $20 email.
Secondly, I want to thank you for coming into my shop this past year and letting me cut your hair. Getting a business going is tough when you have to rely on people coming in your door, and it makes me genuinely happy when you do.
Brass tacks: more than a couple of you have mentioned that you just plain forget to book your appointments until the last minute, and that I should send reminders. I'm not just saying that, I actually did hear that from actual people, to my actual face. And my booking app doesn't do individual reminders, yet, so this is the next best thing.
Next time you're in, I'll be asking you if you'd like to schedule your next cut. Everyone says, "I don't know my schedule yet", so the cut gets left until panic time. I say, why not make your haircut the first thing on your schedule for next month? What's more important than self care? Why do I always have to be on the back burner?!? Besides, the appointment app notifies you a few days in advance, so if something more important (I mean, come on) is on that day, then it's an easy click to reschedule. Bingo banjo.
I'm going to throw in some tips on hair care and stuff like that, just so it doesn't feel like I'm just nagging you to make an appointment. Which I kind of am. But I'm leaning into some new products I'm excited to tell you all about, so just you wait.
Thanks for reading this far, and book your spring cut!
And maybe a bottle of Seth's Beard Oil for your bearded friends? Seth's Negroni Aftershave for your beardless friends?
I'm working on a few other exciting ideas to share with you, I'll let you know when they're ready, or I'll run them by you when your in the chair.
Thanks,
Seth
Seth's Hair Tip #1
I started shaving 30 years ago, but didn't know how to do it right until I went to barber school. I used to think I'd get a closer shave by going against the grain. It was closer for a day, but I was pushing the hairs back down, leading to ingrown hairs and irritation. Always shave with and side-to the grain of your facial hair. Look closely in the mirror and notice which way(s) your hair grows and follow it. The growth patterns can look like Starry Night under there.
Best to shave after a shower so the hair is nice and soft, and use thick but minimal lather so you can see the hairs just in case. And get a better razor! I've found that 1 blade is better than 4. Safety razors are less expensive and have a better shave. Come in and let's talk about it.